condemned to die in a carolina motel bar

by mathew lee cothran

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1.
trust 02:13
pleasure carries pain, i'm on a smoke break forever after all light twists on a knife, trust no one and die together all alone showers stained by mold, i've been growing old for nothing i suppose a blessing and a curse i don't know which is worse lightning struck me twice and my fair weather friend is coming round the bend if i let them in let them in let them in
2.
washed up 03:51
i am troubled i am blinded feeling just like my father's son sometimes singing feels like lying it feels like reaching for a gun times are desperate folks believing that the end is sure to come bad times always keep their promises always done and always undone i walk meadows in my feelings i see troubles come and go pain uplifted from my spirit i fall freely to the unknown are we rivers flowing forever from the moment we were born to drift apart or come together all "washed" up on heaven's shore?
3.
who made this world? i made this world on my own so my time will come, like a car that's crashing into a wall drinking in the morning because i am mourning for us all so my time will come like a head that's bashed in to a wall tell me what you want i'll do it i swear tell me what you want, what you want in this world
4.
can we ride this lonesome high through our sorrows? or are they clinging to us like an old friend? going to bed hoping they'll be no tomorrow just waking up to do it all again are we high to sell ourselves on forever or are we selling out because the end is near going to bed hoping they'll be no tomorrow just waking up year after year i found myself among the demons and the schemers condemned to die in a carolina motel bar i look around i do not see true believers just grieving people taking it too hard
5.
wrath 03:13
is there a wrath inside your mind? lonely days spent wasting time i feel the warmth beneath the earth sunlit floor of a rotting church a blessing bound into a curse every year i'm getting worse do angels fear a higher death? how many years do i have left?
6.
light of the moon, won't you lead me to my doom? i am growing older waiting all for nothing i assume light of the moon, you're so bright i can't see you you are somewhere in that blindness lost to brightness all consumed light of the moon i once thought i was like you meant for shining through a darkness i was wrong it wasn't true light of the moon over these towns that feel like tombs monuments and mausoleums, death is shimmering and blue
7.
i won't be sad for the world that's no way to be i won't be mad at the world that's also no way to be i won't answer the phone no matter who calls i keep my soul in my mind i keep my back to the wall ain't going to leave no note if i kill myself but i won't leave a mess if it can be helped i won't cry no more now that the end is near there is so much joy now that the vision is clear goodbye
8.
all your little dreams are over so go on and open your eyes look me in the soul when i pass by the air is all that lies between us heavy as a sleepless night look me in the soul when i pass by please look into my soul as i pass by please look into my soul? i won't get broken up about it i'm not going to lose my mind look me in the soul when i pass by you and i are not so different you and me are nothing alike look me in the soul when i pass by please look into my soul as i pass by please look into my soul?

about

this is the final album for the known future i am releasing under my birth name. the trilogy is complete. i hope you enjoy it. thanks for the years of listening. thank you to the new shiloh chamber orchestra for their help in arrangements on "trust", "washed up", "wrath" and "i will say goodbye".

"In those days I earned easy money in a tough line of work. I fell and fell. 'When will I reach the bottom?' I often ask myself these days."

"if you die before me, and there's life after death, will you give me a sign?"

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released May 15, 2020

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mathew lee cothran Asheville, North Carolina

mathew lee cothran is a songwriter who lives in asheville, nc. he made music under the name coma cinema, and also elvis depressedly.

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